Most online reviewers claimed that I would get the best sleep of my life on the cleanse, but they forgot one tiny problem. Since I’m drinking nothing but fluids and I have a bladder the size of a walnut, I woke up two or three times last night to pee. It wasn’t a problem, and I slept really well aside from that, but it was far from the best night of my life.


I woke up and weighed myself first thing. In my first day I lost 2.5 pounds, which I’m guessing was mostly water weight.  My green juice tasted much better the second time around, but my stomach was a little upset from not having enough food in it.


I had juice #2 in a meeting. I tried to start my program earlier in the day because I planed to work out, which meant I would need to add in the pre and post-workout juice as well. My stomach was definitely a little off.


I decided to drink 1/3rd of the post-workout juice, since it’s made out of almond milk. The one thing I don’t like about this cleanse is that it stacks your calories towards the end of the day, which is the exact opposite of how my body wants things to work. I continued to feel just a little foggy, much like I was on morning 1.


At this point, I broke down and busted out my emergency avocado (which is allowed on the cleanse, as well as lettuce, lemon juice, and vegetable broth). I had a quarter of it and it not only helped my stomach, but about an hour later I started to feel completely clear-headed.


The avocado filled me to such an extent that I didn’t even start my next green juice until about 2 oclock. By that point, my head had started to clear and I felt a huge burst of energy. It was a little weird, but I actually found myself wanting to leave work and go work out, which is usually something I dread.


Cayenne-lemonade time. This is by far the weirdest juice, and I can’t get past the little cayenne flakes that are floating around in it. My burst of physical energy started to subside, but my mental energy and ability to focus and concentrate was higher than it has been on the entire cleanse, which was a bonus. I got in a nice burst of productivity and got some serious work done.  I looked in the mirror, and I think that my skin might be getting a little oily, which is a perfectly natural side effect of a cleanse, as your body starts to release all the crap it’s been holding on to. At least I’m not getting weird BO, at least I hope I’m not. Someone would tell me, right?


I was winding down for the day, so I broke out the pre-workout drink. This meant skipping my third green juice of the day, but I’ve decided to save it for Thursday morning.  They call the workout juice  pre-shred and it consists of carrots, beets, celery, apple, and pear. I HATE raw carrots. I really have tried to like them in the past, but it’s never worked out for me. I get a nice hint of pear with this juice, but I can’t get over the carrot-y grossness. I’ve noticed that if I like a juice, it takes me longer to get through it. The pre-workout drink was finished in about 3 minutes, if that’s any indication of how quickly I wanted to get the experience over with.

Working Out

After work, I hit the 24 hour fitness for a little gym sess. That’s bro for session. While lifting weights, I noticed that my muscles were a little weaker than usual, so I lifted less weight than I usually do. This could be the juice or it could be that I am woefully out of shape. It makes me long for my gymnastics days when my body was a well-oiled machine. I’d love to go back, but I’m a little spooked after the tailbone injury that kept me in constant discomfort for almost a year. Maybe trapeze class? There’s a net to fall into there, so it’s probably much less dangerous. Anyway, in my current state I doubt that I would even be able to hold myself on the bar for any prolonged period of time. Oh how far I have fallen from the day that I actually climbed a rope to the top of the gym. After weights, I did a quick abs session which went the same as it always does. Then I ran on the elliptical. Again, I took it kind of easy but I did push myself to finish half an hour.


In the car on the way home I enjoyed my almond post-workout drink. I already drank a third of it in the morning, so it wasn’t anything new. It’s a blend of almonds, water, cinnamon, and vanilla. I think there’s a little agave action up in there as well. I downed it pretty fast and followed with a full bottle of water to rehydrate.


I was torn on whether I even wanted the last drink of the day, a cashew vanilla drink that’s actually really creamy. I decided to have half of it, saving the other half for breakfast on Wednesday. I’m going to try to stave off the mid-morning fuzziness and stomach pains by stacking that high-calorie drink earlier in the day. Towards the end of the night, I started to really crave and look forward to solid food. It’s a good think I didn’t order that 4th day after all.

Wednesday Morning Update

I woke up this morning to weigh myself first thing and I’m down another point and a half, for a total of 4 pounds lost since starting the fast. Goal pants not only successfully button, but there is nothing spilling out over them. Other than that, I don’t see much difference in my face or the rest of my body.