I went to Paris in January for a week, and when I came back I came down with a cold that knocked me out for almost 2 more weeks. As a result, I was pretty run down and started to see myself trapped in a downward spiral. I felt terrible, so I ate terrible, which just made me feel more terrible. I was craving things like sugar and white flour. When I read a review about a girl’s experience with Ritual Cleanse, I decided to give it a go. Almost all of the online feedback was positive, and pre-packaged, fresh, organic juices seemed like a healthy and convenient way to fast. I’m on a three day reset cleanse, which I’m hoping will be just enough time to reset my appetite and palette, so that I can once again fit into my goal pants.

Let me preface this by saying that Ritual Cleanse is not cheap. However, going to the farmers market and then spending my entire Sunday juicing would not have been cheap either, especially since I don’t own a juicer. I found a 20% off coupon which made $80 a day seem more reasonable, and I put in my order. I woke up at 6am on Monday morning to pick up my juice bag at a gym in Brentwood. You can have it delivered, but the company is in Irvine and their local delivery option comes between midnight and 6am, and I had no way to let them into my building except to wake up between midnight and 6am, and that just wasn’t going to happen. My 20 juices (6 per day and one set of the pre/post workout drinks) came in a stylish green cooler bag which was incredibly heavy.

9am

I brought my bag home and put my juices in the fridge. The instructions indicated that I should drink one juice every 2 hours, so I held out until 9AM to start. This was the hardest part because I like to have breakfast as soon as I wake up, and I tend to get an upset stomach if I don’t. The first juice of the day is a green juice with spinach, kale, romaine, celery, cucumber, green apple, and lemon. It’s like drinking a salad and was not a great introduction to the cleanse. The lemon was a nice kick, though. I managed to drink it, mostly by chugging, on my drive in to work. It settled my stomach’s demand for something to be put into it and I was off and cleansing!

11am

I brought my second juice to a meeting, and there is something really cool about carrying the bottle. It’s very interesting looking and they are all numbered 1-6. My second juice was a seasonal orange, blackberry, apple juice that is a pleasant pink color. It was a little tart for my tastes. At this point I had started to feel a little light headed, but the drink helped with that problem.  I was very surprised that I didn’t feel hungry. This juice I sipped, and I wasn’t done with it until 11:30.

1pm

At this point in the day, I had peed about 7 times. In addition to the juice, you’re supposed to drink a lot of water, and I’m shooting for a gallon every day. However, I’ve noticed that my senses of taste and smell are heightened, and I’ve developed a distaste for the filtered water we have at work. So, I walked down to Mrs. Winston’s and grabbed a liter of pellegrino. The bubbles tasted downright decadent. It was probably 1:30 before I started my next juice, and 2:15 when  finally finished it. Juice #3 is exactly like juice#1, except with ginger instead of lemon. I’ll admit that it was starting to go down easier.

4pm

Because it was taking me so long to drink the juices, it took me until 4 to be ready for my lemonade. It’s a blend of filtered water, lemon, cayenne pepper, and agave that reminds me of the master cleanse formula. It was ok, even though a lot of reviewers said that they loved it. The cayenne was a little weird in my lemonade, I’m not going to lie. At this point I was still feeling a little light-headed and just not very focused, but those are common side effects of fasting and it wasn’t that bad. I was able to get some work done at least.

6:00 pm

Juice #4 is another green juice, which I grabbed as I was finishing up work for the day. I still didn’t feel hungry, but this juice went down faster and easier than the first 2. Mostly I was feeling really proud of myself for sticking to the cleanse, and I could already feel my jeans loosening.

9:00 pm

The cleanse instructions encourage you to steam, so I just had to use one of my Christmas Burke Williams day passes. I went with a friend from work who is a very important member (she gets her own members-only dressing room!), and we steamed and soaked for about an hour. I also did half an hour in the hot tub while she got a massage. By the end of the night, I was starting to feel a little dizzy, despite drinking lots of water at the spa. It could have been the steam, but it also could have been the fact that I was late with juice #6. The final juice of the day has about three times as many calories as the others, and it’s a blend of cashews, water, vanilla, cinnamon, and nutmeg. They even leave chunks of cashew in it to make it creamier and the whole thing feels very substantial. Compared to the rest of my day, it felt like I had just finished a 6-course dinner and that I was too stuffed to move. I zoned out with some tv for a few hours and went to sleep around 11.

Sleep

Many reviewers promised that I would get an amazing night’s sleep on the cleanse. However, I woke up two or three times just to pee. Those episodes aside, it was an extremely restful night of sleep.

The Results

I woke up this morning and I was down two and a half pounds. Most of it was probably water weight that my body had been carrying due to the crap I’ve been eating since I got sick, but I feel incredibly light and energized. Two more days to go.