Anyone who knew me between the years 2000 and 2004 can probably attest to my love of Applebees, specifically their apple chimi-cheesecakes. Let me break it down for you: they take about half a pound of cheesecake filling, toss in some glazed apples (you know, to make it healthy), wrap it up in a giant flour tortilla, deep fry it, and roll it in cinnamon. You may think that they stop there, but you still have to add a scoop of full-fat vanilla ice cream and a drizzle of caramel sauce. I would estimate that it comes in at 1000 calories, safely.

As a complete tangent, I was just looking up nutritional information online. Applebees has discontinued the chimicheesecake ( a responsible choice IMHO). However, this bullshit site has a user-submitted recipe that they claim comes in at 140 calories. I was so infuriated that I created an account to respond. I mean, come on, a tortilla has 120 all by itself.

Anyway, I made a vegan version that is much lighter, but still not something I would reccomend for the faint of heart. We had it on New Years Eve and paired it with When Harry Met Sally (which was actually a brilliant combination). Apple Chimicheesecake Redux

4 individual squares of puff pastry, thawed

1 1/2 apple cut into 1/2″ pieces

1/2 an apple, shredded

2 TBSP  unsweetened applejuice

2 tsp. cornstarch

2  tsp. brown sugar

1 tsp. white sugar

pinch cinnamon

1 tub of follow your heart vegan cream cheese

1/2 tsp. vanilla

2 TBSP pastry flour

1 TBSP powdered sugar

1. In a saucepan, cook the applejuice and cornstarch over medium heat until dissolved. Add the cubed apples and cook until it becomes thick and syrupy. Remove from the heat, transfer to a metal bowl, and cool in the fridge or freezer.

2. Grate the remaining apple and cream it with the cream cheese, cinnamon, both sugars, and vanilla.

3. Spray a muffin tin with non-stick spray (spray very quickly to avoid using too much) and cut the puff pastry squares in half diagonally. Press them into the muffin tins, folding two sides of the triangle together to form a cup.

4. Stir in the cooled apple mixture and add the flour to thicken.

5. spoon the mixture into the puff pastry and bake at 375 for 20 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted comes out mostly clean (it will be a little wet, but shouldn’t have any chunks sticking to it).

6. Serve with any combination of: vegan whipped cream, ice cream, sorbet, caramel sauce, cinnamon, or powdered sugar.